I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Come share oat with me in your robe
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
