brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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