Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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