McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize