Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize