And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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