I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize