Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
