She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
