I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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