thus making me awesome and them whores
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
