Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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