My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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