We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
