I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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