bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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