I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
