My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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