So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
