You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
