Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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