I want to walk on stilts...naked
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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