im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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