You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
