Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
