SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So squirting runs in the family.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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