I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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