I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
