in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
