Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
