No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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