I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
