he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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