PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i came on her dog
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
