I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
