Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
