I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
