check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
