i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
