My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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