Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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