i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
