I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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