I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
