you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
