don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
