My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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