Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
