I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
