Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize