If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
