He had one of those small greek statue penises
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
