so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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