Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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