We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
