He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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