i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Randomize
