I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
