hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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