its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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