I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize