I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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