I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize