I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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