I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
