The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
