Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize