Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
